A few days home

Last week I spent a few days in S town.  I had forgotten that that was the week workers starting gutting mama's house, so I shared the king size bed with mama at meme's. 

Here's a picture what-was our old porch:

 

Mama Cat and Kitty Kate cat are still hanging out while men tear the house apart.  They're going to rip this porch too so I hope they find somewhere cool to stay in the meantime.  This is Kitty Kate (apparently she/he is also known as Peanut and some other name). 

 

I spent Thursday cleaning out my two closets. Enough junk come out to fill the bedroom and living room.  I pride myself on being able to throw things away that I consider junk.  I only save things that are sentimental and everything else goes in to the "donate" box or trashcan.  However, it took several hours to clean out my closets because I kept finding old stuff.  For instance, here's a picture of Mama and I wearing the same outfit when we were in first grade.  She kept it all those years and I still remember being so angry that I had to wear it.  Needless to say, I think it's adorable now and I'm sure one day my kid will be wearing it as well. 
 (Check out those bangs, eat your heart out Zoey Deschenel.)

 

Remember Benable, from the annual Lunch and Treat dates?  Here he is our tenth grade year of high school.  He left after this to go to Math and Science Governor's School.  And he has always been running for something.  It's no wonder that now he is in law school.

 

Hanson tape.  Hanson was my first real, crazed obsession when it came to music.  No, my second; I've wanted to be Gwen Stefani since I was in 5th or 6th grade.

 

Among the other things I found that I hadn't seen in quite a while were:

• My college degree, which I'm pretty sure I lost the week I graduated college.  (Now I imagine that one day it will hang in my office beside my MFA degree.)
• The aerobie (frisbee) that I look for every time I pack for the beach.
• All of my cat's balls that he hid/lost when he stayed with mama.
• Sketchbooks and paintings gallore, starting from elementary age.  The oldest one is a painting on a whiteboard of Tim McGraw.  I wish I had a picture of it.  Do you realize how hard it is to draw, much less paint, a cowboy hat??
• Books, books, books, and more books.
• About 5 or 6 journals.  I've had the best time reading through them.  I laughed until I cried one night when I read, "The most stressful thing in my life right now is Mrs. Carey (7th grade teacher), she never shuts up!"  I remember Mrs. Carey being tall, with hands that were always stretched out, and wide nostrils.  She did talk a lot but she was sweet.  If she was all there ever was to be stressful about then I'd say I was okay.   

One journal was full of words with their definitions.  Apparently when I read something and I didn't know a word, I'd look it up and write it down to use later.  I guess in front of an English teacher or some other adult to make myself sound smart.  What a nerd.

I don't remember myself being as boy crazy as I seemed to have been.  Every boy I loved (for a week at a time) was "sooo fine" and wonderful.  I don't think I actually talked to most of the boys I was in love with.  Other than boys, I wrote about my friends, the things I wanted to be when I grew up (a writer), how much I loved/was aggravated by my family, what I thought about God, sketches of people, how my friends and I wanted to start a band, how hard math was, etc.  Aside from wanting to be a writer, I'm not so sure that I don't write about the same things in my journal now.

In a way, reading the things that I wrote made my proud of myself.  It made me feel proud that, although I wouldn't say I've made it yet, I am heading toward something good and I've always set the bar high for myself.  This has caused me anxiety in the past but now it has led me to believe that even if I think I'm getting off of the trail I'm on, I'm really not.  It's all meant to be the way it is so if I think I'm falling behind or falling short, it's all part of the process.  Even if I screw everything up, I'm still where I'm supposed to be.

Z the diva:

And lastly, I spent some time with the Picklesymer, pictured above.  While we were watching the Olympics, she claimed she wanted to be a swimmer, a jumproper, a rockstar, and a cow at Halloween.  In her mind, all those things are absolutely possible.  And why shouldn't they be?