Step Up week one. Also, conceptual seeds

This past Thursday night was the first meeting for my church group called Next Step.  Every week small groups meet to watch a mini sermon and then go over some questions and discuss what God's next step is for our lives.  

I was a little intimidated at first because I thought it was going to be stuffy people that might break out a guitar and sing kumbaya (that really did happen to my friend Cam) or break out in hives if I accidentally slipped a cuss word.  Everyone turned out to be cool and very real.  Which was refreshing.  It seemed like we all clicked pretty well and I can't wait to see what the next few weeks will bring for all of us.  It will be good to learn from each other.

Yesterday I went out with a new friend.  I guess he got the word that I'm pretty in to Jesus because that seemed to be a lot of what getting to know each other consisted of talking about.  It was great to try to fix a few misconceptions he had about us, and to apologize for the idiot Christians he'd had some not so great run ins with in the past. I kept hearing the word "judgment" being thrown around and I couldn't agree more.  I told him I also did not like those kind of people and was sorry that those were the people he identified Christ with.  And that they got it all wrong, even though they might have meant well doing it.  

Talking about faith is a lot like talking about my artwork.  I'm not really sure what to say and it's usually vague responses.  But yesterday I felt so confident and guided because the more and more I study who Jesus is and the more and more I fall for him, the more I want others to get it.  The real it.  Because the description is so different than the one most of the world has believed for the past hundred years and so different from what I thought just a couple years ago.  I'm not sure where we got it wrong.  Maybe when people starting molding him to fit their agenda. 

Describing a spirit or a presence or a movement makes you sound as if you take LSD regularly.  And have posters of Jerry Garcia or Phish on your walls.  Or read energies and see colors (shout out to my hippie friends....jokes!).  Like with art, it's not quite something that can be put in to exact words.  There's a limitation.  So when we are called to spread the gospel, how do we do that?

I think that's where spiritual gifts and passion kicks in.  For me, it's not professing something or coming up to someone I don't know and being the weirdo that confronts them about knowing Jesus.  No no no.  It might have worked in Jesus's day, but our world is so different and broken now. Some would argue this and that's fine but I personally think there are more effective ways of communicating and that particular strategy has been done unsuccessfully for far too long.  (Words have done more harm than help for us lately.)  My work is my outlet.  I'm sure reading, discussing, experiencing, and learning from others about and through faith will weigh heavy in to my concepts during the next couple years.  I anticipate this.  It will be a challenge in every form.  In the book I'm reading (The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne) the author talks about how living for Jesus is uncomfortable, uncool, and will wreck your life.  But in the best possible way.  I anticipate that the consumption of that in graduate school will be straining and stressful.  But also rewarding and liberating.

The sketchbook is fresh. Classes start on Wednesday; we will see how it all progresses.  

Stay tuned. 

Wiser than I

Update: Still bumming at my cousin's.

We'll come back to that.

My church, Newspring, has several campuses across South Carolina. The Sunday before last they reached an all time high with a record attendance of 35,000. Yes, they are a mega church.  I've been on both sides of the fence, criticizing and now justifying.  I've noticed that the people that criticize the church the most, as I did too, are the ones that have never actually been to it.  And even just going once can still cause hesitation.  But now that I'm an owner (the equivalent of being a member) there, I cannot imagine staying away.  It really is contagious and it's not about our awesome preacher or the music (both of which bring tons of people in the door).  For me, I've never felt God's spirit in any church like I do in that one.  It's emotional, it puts you in your place, it gets you involved when you don't even like people, and it keeps you on track as far as balancing your life, listening to what God's saying and just doing it.  I crave all those things every Sunday.  And this week I'll be starting a Next Step group that meets in Anderson which I'm so excited about.  I don't know anyone there but I'm excited just the same.  See what I mean about meeting people when you never thought you'd do something like that?  

On Sunday, Pastor P talked about how sharing your faith and living according to how Jesus really wants you to live, which does not mean picketing at gay parades and telling people they're going to hell or condemning people who don't have a relationship with Jesus, is hard and it's uncomfortable.  God knows I have no idea how to talk to anyone about it that doesn't believe the same thing I do.  But I like to think that I'm open minded enough to listen and not to brow beat them for disagreeing with me.  I'm always curious what leads people to believe the things they do.

Another thing Perry said that really struck a cord was, "Thank you Jesus for loving me enough to not give me what I want."  (To the tune of Garth's "Unanswered Prayers"...kidding) I've been thinking about this since I left service Sunday morning. I took it really personally.  I wanted to be in Clemson weeks ago.  Working and settling in and getting comfortable.  But comfort is not really what God specializes in.  In fact, comfort is a worldly problem.  And we all know the world makes us hard.   I admit that I often think there's a reason for everything and could probably analyze it until veins are popping out of my forehead.  In this situation, what I wanted and what God wanted did not match up.  Hearing that comment made me start thinking about why I was sent here instead.  I'm not going to go in to the reasons, but I do believe there is a pretty good one that involves letting go of something and a quiet isolation that allows me to work on doing that.

Im going to try to make it a point to post every week about the small group and what's going on with that.  Can't wait to see what it brings.


After disaster week, I've really just been enjoying my time with my cousins and her kid.  While their every day life is just the norm routine for them, I find it fun.  May is a quirky little girl so she's pretty entertaining.

This is new

Done by Andrew Catterton at 7 Sins in Greenwood. 

First and last. Ouch.

But I do love it

Inconceivable!

WOW is the only way I know to describe last week, followed by a heavy sigh.  You know those days or weeks where everything that could fall apart kind of does?  That was my week.  But, thankfully, it almost all fell back together in it's place.

I got everything moved in to the house in Clemson and left to officially live there on Sunday.  I'd previously been there painting, thinking that would make a huge difference in the dump.  Once I got that Sunday I was so overwhelmed by all of my stuff as well as the stuff that my landlord had had 2 months to fix but had not done so.  So of course, like a girl, I had a meltdown and ended up packing my bags and Cedar and I stayed at a hotel for the night.  On a side note, staying in a hotel is one of my favorite things to do.  It's a vacation without really going anywhere.  There's also free cable and breakfast.  And bathtubs.

The next day I decided I could not stay at that house.  The landlord was etch-a-sketch and it was just a hot mess.  Yes, I knew this from the start and it was definitely my mistake by renting the place to begin with.  So I told him I couldn't stay and I wanted out of my lease.  We hee hawed a bit but agreed if I could find someone else to live there then I could get out of my lease and get my deposit back.  Within a couple days a guy (a carpenter) responded to the rent sign and signed the lease.  That meant I had to get all of my stuff out by that day in order to get my full deposit.  This was a Thursday.  People work on Thursdays and I don't know anyone well enough here to ask for help moving.

Thank God for my good friend Doug McAbee.  He's an amazing professor, a great artist, and an overall awesome human being.  You should check him out: www.dougmcabee.com He came and we got everything in a Uhaul (my second Uhaul of the week).  And I have a lot of junk so it was a major feat.

From there I drove the 27 foot Uhaul back to my cousin's house where I've been staying in Simpsonville and had to unload everything in her garage because someone needed the Uhaul in Easley the next day. 

In the mix I also started my new job the next day.  It was good but I hardly had time to think about it what with everything else going on.  My first day there I went to the bank after I got off and guess what?  The belt came off of my engine (or whatever it is that belts go on under the hood).  Thank God for these two guys (who were also carpenters, not the theme here?) that happened to be there and helped me.  One even drove to advance auto for me to see if they had what I needed.  I called my mom after and was crying (of course) but this time it was because I was so happy and thankful that not only did they helped me, they didn't take the money I offered them because, as one said, "We need more people in the world that just help each other."  They got the belt on and then I ended up having to take it to a dealership the next day to get a new compressor.  Which I don't even want to say how much that cost.

So here we are.  I'm staying with my pregnant cousin, her husband, their 2.5 year old, and five dogs (along with Cedar).  But you know what, it's exactly where I need to be right now and I'm just so thankful that she's gracious enough to let me crash here until I find a place.

I don't know why these kind of things happen the way they do but I've taken it as a test of faith and a compliment that the Lord knows I could handle it because I rely on him so heavily.  He's also pretty witty, sending me the three carpenters to save me.  He's sent me the right people and I know he will send me to the right place in his timing.  So I'll trust that and try to enjoy sleeping on the cot in the nursery at Tiff's house.