Getting Your Picture Taken is Awkward

Stigall and I had a big day yesterday.  After our first premarital financial counseling at church in the morning, we made the long drive to S-town.  Aunt Jules is a great photographer so she offered to do some engagement photos for us.  This is pure torture for both of us since we don't like getting our picture taken.  Stigall doesn't mind it as much, especially if he doesn't have to be serious about it.  I, however, loathe it entirely.  I grew up with my mom taking pictures of everything I ever did.  Every first day of school, every day I drove when I turned 15, every time I wore a dress, every time I blew my nose.  Unfortunately with smart phones, her obsession with capturing every little thing has gotten worse.  Yesterday she took pictures while I was explaining what cake flavor we wanted.  It also makes it harder when you're being told to pose lovingly in an unnatural position and in an environment that you would never act like that in.  At one point Jules said, "You act like you don't want to be doing this!" to which we immediately responded, "We don't!  Mama is making us!"  

All that to say, the ones Stigall and I liked the best are the ones where we were making phone of the cliche engagement photos or were talking about how uncomfortable we were.  Here are our favorites:

"You are free to create the worst junk in the world"

This semester I've determined to be nicer to myself when it comes to my art practice.  Yes, I do not spend every waking second in my studio, I do not lose sleep over things I "should" be doing.  I'm easing up on myself because I have a job, a small group, church, a dog, and a fiance.  These aren't excuses for why I'm not letting grad school consume and overwhelm me, they are parts of my reality.  My reality is what the content of my work is about, as I try to understand and convey it. Without these things, perhaps there wouldn't be any sculpture at all!

When classes started, one of my seminar professors suggested reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg as an inspiring read discussing writer's block.  I was hesitant at first, thinking it might be more dreaded art theory kind of stuff.  But no, this book was clear, honest, helpful, and enjoyable.  Relief!  

While the book is about writing, if you switch out writing with creating, it is still application to art making.  Here are some excerpts I connected with:

"It takes a while for our experience to sift through our consciousness.  For instance, is is hard to write about being in love in the midst of a mad love affair.  We have no perspective.  All we can say is, 'I'm madly in love,' over and over again...Our senses by themselves are dumb.  They take in experience, but they need the richness of sifting for a while through our consciousness and through our whole bodies...Our bodies are garbage heaps: we collect experience."

"There was an article in the newspaper several years ago about a yogi in India who ate a car.  not all at once, but slowly over a year's time.  I told this to a group of third-graders in Minnesota.  One student looked at me and burst in to tremendous laughter.  Right from the beginning there was no logic in it.  It is absurd...In a sense, this is how we should [create].  Not asking 'Why?,' not delicately picking among candies, but voraciously, letting our minds eat up everything and spewing it out with great energy.  We shouldn't think, 'This is a good subject for [creating].'  [Creating] is everything, unconditional.  There is no separation between [creating], life, and the mind.  If you think big enough to let people eat cars, you will be able to see that ants are elephants and men are women.  you will be able to see the transparency of all forms so that all separations disappear."

She makes several great points that are so applicable to any sort of creating.  She is redundant about "just doing it" when it comes to her writing.  My problem is that I heehaw around because I worry my ideas are foolish and are not what the faculty wants me to do.  I'm starting to get over that and instead to consider the notion to just create.  Who cares what they think?  This is my time, my MFA degree.  So I should just do it.