Groups of People

Recently, Christopher and I were asked, "What have you guys been up to, do you socialize a lot?" Our response was the predicted one of "not much" but after we thought about it, every day that week we had spent time with at least two or more people. 

 

This is an extremely blurry picture of our friend Kelton.  (Did I mention I busted my iPhone?)  Chris knew Kelton from AU and I met him this summer through church.  Kelton is a super nice guy, one with plenty of ambition, honesty, and humor.  He has become a dear friend to us.  Kelton has a vision.  He got a group of people together for a dinner and "vision night" (I hate to use that phrase but that's essentially what it was).  His dream is to start a clothing company that provides clothing as well as opportunities for employment for the "least" in the community.  Keep your eyes out for his baby,TYMBR (That You May Be Rich), in 2015.

 I don't know why God asks us to do things that we know we will hate but He does.  This summer He told me to start a ladies group.  I'll admit, I was against it at first.  My history with groups of women have usually led me to feel inferior and insecure, caught up in drama and discussions about things of which I have no interest in.  In the past, I've mainly stuck with one or two good girlfriends and limited it to that.  God saw that limitation and decided it was time for me to quit barricading myself from intimate friendships with women.  The picture above shows me and a couple of the girls out to eat for the holidays.  

It's been a learning experience, one that teaches me something every time we meet.  I don't think I've been the best leader I could be with them- I'm scared of them most of the time!  It's written that the worst of us can still be used.  Because I'm arrogant, I don't consider myself to be in the "worst" category.  But I do know I'm not the best.  And yet we still meet on Tuesdays and real friendships are occurring.

Christmas was a blur but it was the best blur.  It was the first married Christmas for me and Stigall.  Our tree was decorated with "Our First Christmas" ornaments and nothing made me happier than seeing it lit through the window when I pulled in the drive.  Stigall grew up with a very different Christmas than I did.  We had to find a balance between traditions and what we actually wanted to do.

Here's Santa pulling gifts from his bag the evening before Christmas Eve.  Mama came up and overdid (as usual) for us with presents.  The presents were wonderful but they didn't compare to time spent with her.

I don't know why I keep taking pictures with my phone.

Mama and I have an ongoing joke about how "corny" she is.  The first present she made us open was, as she said, a "silly one".  The picture shows the Stigall family in our matching Chaps pajama sets.  If you are wondering why Christopher's shirt has a paw on it, it's because he was wearing the one for Cedar.

Thursday nights are something we always look forward to.  It's when our homegroup meets.  We eat supper and have wonderful conversation about all kinds of topics with Jesus at the root of it.  We took a break for the holidays but met up for dinner at Sullivans, the nicest restaurant in town. 

At dinner they handed us a card saying that they decided they are going to spend a weekend finishing our house for us.  Can you believe that?  That's community.  That's loving each other. 

Christopher and I babysit three kids every other Wednesday.  They are a lot of fun.  The night before our last chance to watch them before Christmas, I got this text from the middle kid.  He wanted to invite us over for dinner, he was making tacos.  He's got whipped cream on his face because he also made strawberry shortcakes.  Those were for the school party so we weren't allowed to have any.

Most of the family is at least an hour and a half away except for our cousins in Simpsonville.  We love hanging out with them and their girls (you might remember May, I've posted about her before).  We met up with them for lunch at Copper River.  Somewhere in the conversation Christopher and I got sucked in to taking the girls to the mall while the parents went to Verizon Wireless.  I'm not sure who got the worse end of that deal but we did get to drive the minivan and we liked that.

I don't have other pictures of my in laws because of my not-so-smart phone.  My mother in law made a point to celebrate my birthday this week so it would be special.  She even decorated.  She made a cake that, while it tasted amazing, looked like a meatloaf with "Happy Birthday" written on it in ketchup.  We played games with the parents and brother and (soon to be) sister.  I love game nights so I hope it becomes a regular thing.

Stigalls at Lake Hartwell in the Winter

God versus the Scandal of Student Loans

I'm bitter.  I've been assessing my student loans and am crushed by the overwhelming debt.  At 17, trying to choose a college and "e-signing" agreements of how I was going to pay for it, no one clearly stated to me what a loan looked like, what interest was, or whether or not I was capable enough to understand that even though college is a fun experience, it comes with a price.

I guess you could call me a quitter and a cynic. While I obtained my undergraduate degree, I found that since I couldn't get a job I might as well go to graduate school.  I tried that and quit it.  Twice. People were disappointed but no one could understand the disappointment and frustration more than me. Perhaps I chose the wrong degree, the wrong place.  I loved art and assumed that was the path for me because I wasn't good at or didn't have an interest in anything else.  It's funny, because now what I was once passionate about I want nothing to do with.  

I spent the last year making terrible art and hating every minute of graduate school- is that really God's best for me?  It can't be!  I'm 26 and I still don't know "what I want to be" and every time I apply for a job, it sounds promising, I get an interview (sometimes two!), and yet there's no follow through.  Now the only "career" I know is how to be a professional student with a part time proficiency in waitressing.

I can see God's plan for me in my failures though.  Without some of those experiences, I might never have known things about myself and it was all a route to get me where He wants me.  I still think I'm getting there and I'm so thankful that His plans supersedes those of the world, but underneath of all His glory, I still feel like a fool. 

Why didn't I pray about college?  Why didn't I ask God back then to send me where HE wanted- to use me for His good- with our without my attendance at a small university?  I'm so quick to blame Him for putting me in this entrapment of debt without a means to pay it back but really, the only person I can blame is myself.  He's the only source that can make it better and I'm the one who made the decisions I did.  He is the solution, I have been the problem.  If I had had enough faith back then to trust Him, then the last ten years might have looked a little different.  If I had had someone wise enough, and with enough faith, to invest in me and get real with me about life- not just the four years that seemed like the rest of my life- I could have made better decisions.  If that sounds like a total blow to the people who did advise me and whose words were sincere in wanting the best for me, I don't mean it to. Advice is usually given out of love and is often based around that person's own experience.  I am thankful for it.  However, I wish I would have listened and then been bold enough to pray and trust what God wanted me to do- He who is that "someone" who is wise and faithful.

I have the chance to do that now.  I have no real plan for my life or what I want to do with it.  Most days, that's okay.  The thing that encourages me to get there is that moment when I've gone home and the Father says, "Well done."  The difference between now and the last decade is that I'm trusting Him.  I don't know how I will pay off my loans, I don't know what I will do to make money,  and I'm yet to know what burdens me enough to take action.  But if  I excel at the opportunities He presents me with and I am successful with what He has laid before me, there's no fear or worry.  I don't have a right to put a monetary value on furthering His Kingdom- in whatever way that is.  He is calling the shots and no matter how ridiculous or scary the things He wants me to do are, obedience will be blessed.  

Some Favorite Wedding Pictures